Ethical Eating FTW! Chick-Fil-A Has Announced It Will No Longer Get Its Chickens By Kidnapping People In Parking Garages And Transforming Them Into Chickens With Witchcraft

One of the nation’s most iconic fast-food chains is seriously changing the way it does business, and it has animal rights activists cheering: Chick-fil-A has announced that it will no longer be producing its chickens by kidnapping people in parking garages and turning them into chickens using witchcraft.

Extremely Frustrating: This Man Is Tired Of His Elderly Parents Calling Him For Technology Help Every Time Their Android Servant Becomes Self-Aware And Tries To Rip Their Skin Off

As your parents age, it’s only natural to want to help them in any way you can, but sometimes their inability to master the latest technology can seriously drive you crazy. No one knows that better than Bryan Glover, who is tired of his elderly parents calling him for help every time their android servant becomes…

Powerful: The Cast Of ‘The West Wing’ Reunited In Richard Schiff’s Garage Last Night To Say The Words ‘Resist Trump’ Back And Forth To Each Other Without Filming It

Members of the #Resistance itching for a high-profile takedown of our commander in cheat, Donald Drumpf, AND a reunion of the best show ever got an early Christmas present today: The cast of The West Wing reunited in actor Richard Schiff’s garage last night to say the phrase “Resist Trump” back and forth to each other…

Repressing Freedom: China Is Censoring Amir Out Of All ‘Jake And Amir’ Videos So That Citizens Do Not Idolize His Slothful, Imbecile Ways

The Chinese government has long limited its citizens’ access to the internet, but this most recent step is their most repressive yet, and will control what billions of people can see online: State censors have ordered that Amir be edited out of all Jake And Amir videos to prevent Chinese citizens from copying his…

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Bad News For The #Resistance: Sources Close To Mueller Are Suggesting The Pee Tape Is Real, But It Is Hot As Hell, Maybe The Sexiest Event Ever Caught On Camera

For those holding out hope that the infamous pee tape will eventually surface and expose President Trump for the depraved monster he truly is, sadly it’s now looking like, if anything, the video will only make him more popular than ever: According to new intel from sources close to Special Counsel Robert Mueller, the…

Royal Wedding Watch: Prince Harry And Meghan Markle Have Entered The PODS Container Where Their 8-Month-Long Honeymoon Will Take Place

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are about to enjoy their holy union in the intimate privacy of the PODS container they’ll be renting for over half a year. In a swoon-worthy moment of chivalry, Prince Harry used all his strength to hold open the pod’s vertically sliding door 2 feet high, just enough room for Meghan…

Royal Wedding Watch: Prince Harry And Meghan Markle Just Drove Away From Windsor Castle With A Dozen Festive Commoners Tied To The Back Of Their Car

Friends and family are waving after the newly married Prince Harry and Meghan Markle as they drive away from the church with “Just Married” written across the rear window and a dozen commoners festively tied to the bumper being dragged on the ground behind. Queen Elizabeth was seen wiping tears away from her eyes as…

Royal Wedding Watch: The Newlyweds’ Departure From Windsor Castle Signals The Official Conclusion Of The 2018 Winter Olympic Games

While today marks a new beginning for Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, this morning also marks the end of the 2018 Winter Olympics, which ran for two weeks in mid-February, followed by three months of complete inactivity, and finally culminated this morning in royal matrimony inside St. George’s Chapel. The send-off…