Legal Bombshell: Mueller Flipped Trump’s Confidant’s Lawyer’s Friend’s Associate Gorpman (Who Could Testify Against Bleemer!) And It’s Not Even Lunchtime

The day’s just getting started, and the Trump house of cards is already crumbling. This morning, Special Counsel Robert Mueller dropped a legal bombshell on the administration by filing court documents announcing a plea bargain with Trump’s confidant’s lawyer’s friend’s associate Gorpman, and Gorpman’s testimony could…

Fighting Fire With Fire: Mitch McConnell Is Attempting To Channel Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s Populist Appeal By Preparing A Supper Of Boiled Dog Live On Instagram

Congresswoman-elect Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has cultivated much of her extraordinary grassroots success through her candor and authenticity on social media, and now it appears that her foes across the aisle have caught on and are starting to crib from her playbook: Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY)…

Hot Hot Hollywood: Will Smith Has Been Singing ‘Hava Nagila’ Faster And Faster For 52 Hours Straight While Building A Mausoleum For All His Family And Friends

When you’re out on the streets of Hollywood, you simply never know when your day is about to switch from “big freeway traffic” to “silver screen magic”—and today is no exception. Get ready to shout, “Lights! Camera! Action! Camera!” because one of La La Land’s best and brightest is shining out in Tinseltown today, and…

Incredible Savings: Costco Has Started Selling A Jumbo, Family-Sized Condom That Several Men Can Wear Together

If the remarkably cheap booze and rotisserie chickens weren’t already enough of a reason to pony up for a Costco membership, the wholesale retailer just released a brand-new, budget-friendly product that could potentially save you a whole lot of money in the long-term: Costco has started selling jumbo, family-sized…

Honoring A Legend: After Sitting Courtside At Lakers Games For Over Four Decades, Jack Nicholson Is Now Allowed To Shower With The Team

As a season ticket-holder for over four decades, Jack Nicholson has become an iconic fan of the Los Angeles Lakers, passionately cheering on the team from his courtside seats at nearly every home game, and it looks like the team is finally returning the favor: The L.A. Lakers have announced that Jack Nicholson is now…

Holy Shit: Kyle Is Just Straight-Up Watching The Saddam Hussein Hanging Video On A Library Computer, Right Where Teachers Can See Him And Everything

If you’re a student at Kendall Middle School, you may want to beeline straight for the library, because word is some truly wild shit is going down: Kyle is currently just straight-up watching the Saddam Hussein hanging on a library computer, right where teachers can see him and everything.

Streamlined Ceremony: To Save Time The Oscars Are Ditching The Award Show And Instead Will Just Post An Excel Spreadsheet Listing All The Winners

It’s no secret that the Academy had trouble finding a host for this year’s Oscars, but fortunately that won’t be a problem anymore. To streamline the infamously long ceremony, the Oscars will ditch the awards show entirely and instead post a simple Microsoft Excel spreadsheet listing all the winners.

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