ATTENTION, SHOWTIME: ClickHole Will Now Audition To Take Over As Admin Of The Official ‘Dexter’ Facebook And Twitter Accounts

The last episode of Dexter aired on September 22, 2013. Almost five years later, the show’s Facebook and Twitter accounts still exist, but only as mere shadows of their former selves. Which is why ClickHole has decided to step up and restore Dexter’s withering social media presence to its former glory.

ATTENTION,…

Taking Responsibility: Mark Zuckerberg Has Announced That Any Articles Posted On Facebook Will Now Go Through Strict Vetting To Make Sure They Align With The Company’s Tireless Commitment To Generating Massive Amounts Of Revenue

Mark Zuckerberg faced enormous public backlash this week after he defended Holocaust deniers’ right to disseminate their views on Facebook, but this morning he stepped up to allay Facebook users’ concerns in a big way: Zuckerberg announced that from now on, Facebook will rigorously vet the articles posted on its site…

Another Failure: Facebook Is Scrambling To Beef Up Security After Discovering Millions Of Users Who Falsely Listed Their Education As ‘School Of Hard Knocks’

Facebook has had a terrible year, and it looks like things are only getting worse. The social media behemoth just announced that it’s scrambling to beef up security after discovering millions of users who have falsely listed their education as “School of Hard Knocks,” a university that does not seem to exist in any…

Game Changer: Mark Zuckerberg Will Now Respond To You In Facebook Messenger If Your Friend Doesn’t Get Back To You Quickly Enough

For Facebook users, there are few feelings worse than sending someone a message only to wait in endless suspense without them ever getting back to you. Thankfully, Facebook is constantly working to improve its user experience, and the company has just announced a new update that will hopefully put an end to the…

Stepping Up: This New Facebook Safety Feature Lets You Mark Yourself As Someone Who Could Have Easily Been A Victim In A Terrorist Attack

Sadly, the threat of terrorism is an ever-present part of life today. And when an attack hits in a place you have a personal connection to, you want to let your friends and family know that you’re safe, but that this has been a really weird day for you. Thanks to Facebook, this is now possible, as the site just…

The Power Of The Internet: A New Study Just Confirmed That 96% Of People Find Out Their Aunt Is Having Fertility Issues Through Social Media

It’s no secret that the internet has changed our world at a breakneck pace, but studies like the one Pew published earlier this week are shedding new light on the profound effects it’s having on our lives. According to Pew’s new study, 96 percent of people find out their aunt is having fertility issues through social…

Put On Notice: John Legend Took To Twitter Last Night To Completely Rip Into Whoever’s Been Putting Wet Towels Inside His Piano

It’s hard to imagine John Legend’s career going much better than it is right now, but it looks like he’s got some beef to settle nonetheless. The 10-time Grammy winner isn’t about to let his high status keep him from rocking the boat when something’s bothering him, and he proved that last night when he totally laid

We Never Intended Facebook Live To Be Anything But A Platform For Streaming Legally Performed Euthanasia (by Mark Zuckerberg)

We here at Facebook are shocked and dismayed by the surge in violent crimes being broadcast on our Facebook Live streaming service. In designing this live video tool, our hope was to connect people with their followers in a creative, engaging way—not expose our users to horrifying murders. If this service has caused…

Not Messing Around: J.K. Rowling Just Threatened To Write A Short Story Where Harry Potter Drowns In A Septic Tank At Woodstock ’99 If Fans Don’t Do Something Big For Her Birthday

You better brace yourselves, Potter fans, because J.K. Rowling just issued a full-blown threat to the series canon. The mastermind behind the universe of witchcraft and wizardry just took to Twitter to announce that she will write a short story where Harry Potter drowns in a septic tank at Woodstock ’99 if fans don’t…