Olivia Wilde Is Pretty. Prettier Than Me :(
Olivia Wilde is drop-dead gorgeous. Me? I freaking wish…
Incredibly Sad: This Guy Got His College Diploma Framed
Buckle up, because this story about Tim Lansen of Oakland, CA is going to be a real downer: Tim got his college diploma…
Tragic: Man On House Arrest Can’t Go Over To His Neighbor’s Yard Where He’s Giving Out Free Spankings
This is truly heartbreaking.
Heartbreaking: The Thing You Want Is All The Way Over There
In this day and age, the daily onslaught of awful news you read about is just plain brutal and unrelenting. We’re sorry…
Poor Kid: Eddie Vedder Just Said Something Rude About Donald Trump So Now This 8-Year-Old Has To Listen To His Dad Yell About Eddie Vedder For 2 Weeks
Well, this isn’t going to be fun. It looks like the next couple of weeks will probably be a bit rough for 8-year-old…
No Excuse: This Kid Who’s Rich Enough To Have A Full-Blown Basketball Court In His Backyard Is By Far The Shittiest Basketball Player On His Team
Here’s a story of squandered privilege that will almost certainly leave you shaking your head: This kid who’s rich…
Heartbreaking: There Is Clearly A Ninja Turtle Under The White Sheet At This Murder Scene
This is so sad. You hate to see this kind of thing.
Deeply Sad: Guy Who Came In Last Place In An Elvis Lookalike Contest Gets Drunk Alone In A Dive Bar
This is so upsetting. You hate to see this kind of thing.
Devastating: Kid Makes The ‘Pull Horn’ Sign But The Trucker Accidentally Pulls The Self Destruct Cord
This is just utterly devastating. You hate to see this kind of thing.
Heartbreaking: Soldier Returning Home From Afghanistan Completely Overshadowed By Other Family Member Returning Home From Adult Video Store
This is so sad. You hate to see this kind of thing.
Tough Farewell: Man Tearfully Cooks Breakfast Meats On The Blazing Hot Asteroid That Landed On His Elderly Mother
This is one of the saddest things you will see all day.
Heartbreaking: This Woman Is Always There For Her Friends But Gives God-Awful Advice
Get ready to start sobbing, because the story of 35-year-old Sarah Ratliff is the saddest thing you’re going to read…
I’m With Dad: 4 Reasons Why Me And Dad Think The Old Howard Stern Wouldn’t Even Recognize The New Politically Correct Howard Stern
Sometimes when my dad picks me up from places, he’ll turn on the Howard Stern channel on Sirius XM and let me listen.…
Members Of The Lead Task Force In Charge Of Making Sure Elvis Didn’t Die On The Toilet Talk About What Went Wrong
On August 16th, 1977, Elvis Presley died on the toilet in Memphis, Tennessee. These men were on the elite task force…
Heartbreaking: A ‘Price Is Right’ Contestant Just Won A Dryer That Drew Carey Has Clearly Been Living In
Anyone who’s seen The Price Is Right knows that the popular guessing game provides its fair share of highs and lows,…
Major Backfire: This 13-Year-Old’s Attempts To Untag Himself From All Facebook Pictures With His 400-Pound Aunt Have Only Made His Friends More Fascinated With Her
Appearances are everything for teenagers, but sometimes their efforts to control how they’re perceived by their peers…
Heartbreaking: This Buck-Toothed Gorilla Is Too Dumb-Looking To Ever Scare Poachers Away From His Children
It’s a sad reality that poachers often target the young of endangered animals, whose only line of defense is the…
Costly Mistake: Man Trapped In Burning House Accidentally Calls For Barbershop Quartet Instead Of Firefighters
This is so sad. You hate to see this kind of thing.
Deeply Troubling: Cheese Nips Just Put Out A
Vague Announcement About How We Will All Rue The Day We Let Cheese Nips Play
Second Fiddle To Cheez-Its
Cheese Nips just went on social media to release a cryptic and disturbing announcement. In an ominous Facebook post,…