Taking Action: Legislators Have Introduced A Bipartisan Bill Demanding That The Trump Administration Make Its Inhumane Immigration Policies Easier To Ignore

You spoke, and your national representatives have listened: In response to public outcry against the separation of migrant families at the border, Congress has introduced a bill with wide bipartisan support demanding that President Trump employ unspeakably cruel immigration policies that are easier for people to…

Clearing His Name: Congress Has Exonerated Mark Zuckerberg Of All Wrongdoing After He Revealed That The Winklevoss Twins Were The Ones Who Really Invented Facebook

It might have seemed like Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg was in serious trouble over his company’s recent data-related scandals, but at his congressional hearings he made an astonishing confession that could clear his name and totally change the conversation: Congress has exonerated Mark Zuckerberg of all wrongdoing…

Every Middle-Class Family Should Have Money Set Aside For An Unexpected Emergency Like Republicans Having A Majority In Congress

It’s no secret that life can throw bad news at you right out of the blue. For those of us who aren’t fabulously wealthy, an unexpected bump in the road can clean out your bank account in a hurry, leaving you drowning in debt. That’s why every middle-class family should have some money set aside in case of an emergency…

Hypocrisy At Its Finest: This Congressman Who Vocally Supports Hunting Rights Has Confessed To Secretly Having An Affair With A Deer

It’s pretty much a given these days that our elected officials will say one thing and do another. But one congressman from Oklahoma’s 4th Congressional District has managed to take hypocrisy to a whole other level: Despite vocally supporting hunting rights, Republican Congressman Jeffrey Douglas has confessed to…

Beautiful: The Spirit Of Ted Kennedy Just Appeared Before The Senate To Plea For Universal Healthcare And Give Them Instructions On How To Break Him Out Of Purgatory

The Senate’s attempts to repeal the Affordable Care Act has underlined just how deeply divided and rancorous politics have gotten in Washington. It seemed like there would be no end to the vicious rhetoric and petty infighting that have pockmarked the Senate chamber until today, when something incredible happened: The…

Back To The Drawing Board: DNC Scientists Just Carried A Screaming Jon Ossoff Down A Hallway Lined With Jon Ossoff Prototypes

After pouring millions of dollars into Jon Ossoff’s failed campaign for a Georgia congressional seat, the Democratic Party is reeling. Many are viewing the loss as a major blow to the disjointed party, and the sentiment is not lost on the DNC: In the wake of the devastating election defeat, DNC-funded scientists just…

The Last Hurdle: Congress Has Informed Puerto Rico It Can’t Be The 51st State Until It Gets Its Obesity Rate Up To The U.S. Average

In a historic election held Sunday, the people of Puerto Rico voted in favor of becoming the 51st state in the United States of America. While the majority of Puerto Ricans now support statehood, they still have one last hurdle to clear before they can officially join the union. Congress has informed Puerto Rico that…

The Only Ones Who Should Be Allowed To Regulate Women’s Bodies Are The World’s Most Powerful Supercomputers

It seems like every time I read the news, there’s another old white congressman introducing legislation to police women’s bodies. From limiting access to contraception to mandating transvaginal ultrasounds, every aspect of my health and reproductive rights is being determined by people who couldn’t know less about…