Car Of The Future: Elon Musk Has Revealed That The Next Tesla Will Feature A Ziploc Bag Of Cashews In The Glove Compartment

Tech visionary Elon Musk took to the internet earlier today to announce a key feature of his latest Tesla model, and based on this bombshell, it sounds like it’s going to be one of his most futuristic creations yet: Elon Musk just revealed that the next Tesla will feature a Ziploc bag of cashews in the glove…

Heartwarming: When This Subway Employee Had To Walk 20 Miles To Work Because He Couldn’t Afford A Car, The CEO Of Subway Drove Alongside Him To Cheer Him On

If you think all corporate CEOs are heartless monsters who only care about their companies’ bottom lines, this story is going to make you think again: When a 27-year-old employee at Subway had to walk 20 miles to work because he couldn’t afford a car, the CEO of Subway drove alongside him to cheer him on.

Mindfulness FTW: This Amazing Company Offers Free Meditation Classes To Its Employees To Give Them The Inner Calm They Need To Stop Stressing About Their Terrible Health Insurance

If you’re tired of constantly hearing news about greedy corporations cruelly exploiting their labor, here’s a rare story of a business that is truly doing right by its workers: This incredible company offers free meditation classes to its employees to give them the inner calm they need to stop stressing about their…

Twitter Meltdown: Del Monte Tweeted A Heartfelt Tribute To The Father Of Modern Green Beans And It’s Getting Really Worked Up That People Don’t Seem Upset By His Death

You’re going to want to see this incredible tweetstorm that pretty much the entire internet is talking about. Del Monte just had a full-on meltdown on Twitter yesterday afternoon after nobody responded to its heartfelt memorial tribute to someone it calls the father of modern green beans.

Holding Its Ground: RCA Records Just Tweeted It’ll Never Pay The Foo Fighters Because Singing With Your Buds Is Not A Job

The Foo Fighters’ music has helped RCA Records make a ton of money over the years, but in spite of that, the band’s music label recently took to social media to state that it wouldn’t be sharing any of that profit. In what can only be described as an epic and defiant Twitter thread, RCA Records tweeted that it’ll…

Incredible Sacrifice: Meet The Heroic Teen Who Volunteered To Be Pierced 50,000 Times In Order To Save Claire’s From Bankruptcy

When Claire’s filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy on Monday, many people worried that the beloved accessory store would soon be shuttering its doors forever. But thanks to the brave sacrifice of Delaware teenager Kelli Cohen, it looks like Claire’s just might survive: Kelli has heroically volunteered to get 50,000 body…

Toys ‘R’ Us Is Going Out Of Business Because America Wasn’t Ready To Accept A Celibate Giraffe Mascot

When I became CEO of Toys ‘R’ Us, I was excited for a chance to lead one of America’s most well-known toy stores into a new era of prosperity. Unfortunately, it pains me to announce that after 70 years of bringing joy to children across the world, Toys ‘R’ Us will soon be shutting its doors forever. Many people will…

Someone’s Getting Fired! Some Hapless Bozo At This Opioid Company Accidentally Implemented A Business Model That Incentivizes Profit Over Public Safety

Oof. We wouldn’t want to be the clumsy Purdue Pharma employee responsible for this seriously major blunder right now, because they’re definitely about to get fired: Some hapless bozo at one of America’s biggest opioid manufacturers accidentally implemented a business model that incentivizes profit over public safety.

Corporate Hubris: After Successfully Defeating Dandruff, Selsun Blue Has Announced It’s Going After Cancer Next

For years, Selsun Blue’s specially formulated shampoos have succeeded in helping consumers overcome their dandruff problems, but now it seems as if the company’s success has gone straight to its head. In a statement released this morning, Selsun Blue announced that, having now triumphed over dandruff, it is ready to…

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