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Innovation Win! Dole And Speed Stick Have Teamed Up To Make A Banana That You Slowly Crank Up With A Little Wheel

Innovation Win! Dole And Speed Stick Have Teamed Up To Make A Banana That You Slowly Crank Up With A Little Wheel

September 25, 2025

Two of the world’s most beloved brands have just announced a major technological breakthrough that is guaranteed to change the world forever: Dole and Speed Stick have…

Animal Rights Win: ShopRite Will No Longer Use Elephant Tusks As Checkout Dividers

Animal Rights Win: ShopRite Will No Longer Use Elephant Tusks As Checkout Dividers

September 24, 2025

One Step Closer To Sainthood: The Catholic Church Just Reclassified The Time Lenny Kravitz’s Penis Popped Out Of His Pants As A Miracle

One Step Closer To Sainthood: The Catholic Church Just Reclassified The Time Lenny Kravitz’s Penis Popped Out Of His Pants As A Miracle

September 23, 2025

Science FTW: Biologists Have Discovered That Inserting A Crisp $100 Bill Into A Kangaroo’s Pouch Makes The Kangaroo Dispense $100 In Quarters, But Also Kills It

Science FTW: Biologists Have Discovered That Inserting A Crisp $100 Bill Into A Kangaroo’s Pouch Makes The Kangaroo Dispense $100 In Quarters, But Also Kills It

September 23, 2025

Awesome: Walgreens Will Now Give You The Ability To Let Their Customer Service Reps Know You Want To Kill Yourself While You’re On Hold

Awesome: Walgreens Will Now Give You The Ability To Let Their Customer Service Reps Know You Want To Kill Yourself While You’re On Hold

September 22, 2025

Bending The Knee: ABC Just Invited President Trump To Be The First Guest On Their New Late Night Show, ‘The Kid Rock Christian Prayer And Bigotry Hour’

Bending The Knee: ABC Just Invited President Trump To Be The First Guest On Their New Late Night Show, ‘The Kid Rock Christian Prayer And Bigotry Hour’

September 18, 2025

Depressing: The Hamburger This Guy DoorDashed To His Apartment Has Seen More Of His City In One Hour Than He Has In Months

Depressing: The Hamburger This Guy DoorDashed To His Apartment Has Seen More Of His City In One Hour Than He Has In Months

September 18, 2025