Illustration for article titled Inspiring Resolve: This 12-Year-Old Boy Is Determined To Get Away With Masturbating In The Hotel Room He’s Sharing With His Family On Vacation

The true test of one’s character is not who they are when everything’s going their way but rather who they become in the face of impossible odds, and for one inspiring middle school boy, there seems to be no such thing as impossible: This 12-year-old boy is determined to get away with masturbating in the hotel room he’s sharing with his family on vacation.

Wow! What a courageous young man!

Deep in the throes of puberty, seventh-grader Ryan Hendry is constantly yearning to masturbate, but unfortunately hasn’t yet had the privacy to do so in the first couple days of his family’s five-day getaway to the Atlantis Resort in the Bahamas where he’s stuck with his parents and little brother pretty much 24/7.


To make matters worse, Ryan’s seeing literally hundreds of girls in bikinis every day out by the pools, and some of those girls have very hot boobs and make him insanely horny. But with busy days full of water activities and family fun in the sun, Ryan can’t even find two minutes of alone time to jack off. However, even though he’s sleeping literally four feet from his mom and dad on this trip and knows that trying to pleasure himself in such close quarters could very well be a suicide mission, Ryan is boldly committed to some way, somehow, finding a way to make it happen.

While most people would consider masturbating while under near constant parental surveillance a completely unattainable goal, Ryan is spending every waking moment on vacation keeping an eye out for an opportunity to achieve the unthinkable. He has even formulated several plans to get the shared hotel room to himself for the few minutes he needs to complete his daredevil act of masturbation—including a pretending to that he forgot his swim trunks in the room as his family walks to the water park and sending his little brother to get ice from the machine in the hallway while his parents are spending a couple hours at the hotel casino.


This brave 12-year-old’s mind is firing on all cylinders, and he’s putting his heart and soul into his quixotic quest to masturbate in the face of impossible odds!

“It’s not going to be easy, but I know there’s got to be a way to jack off this week,” Ryan explains. “Mom and Dad sometimes go down to the hotel bar to get non-virgin piña coladas, so if I tell my brother to stand in the hallway to for a few minutes, I’d have the room to myself long enough to do my thing. If that doesn’t work, I’ll think of something else. When there’s a will, there’s a way, and my will to masturbate is incredibly strong at the moment.”


Amazing! No matter what it takes, this boy is going to bust a nut!

Impressively, despite the tremendous challenges he faces, Ryan seems undeterred by the fact that should he get caught in the act of masturbating, his parents may very well punish him by not letting him go on the swim-with-the-dolphins excursion. In fact, if that happens, he says he can then just stay back in the room and masturbate more, perhaps even catching an uncensored showing of Wild Things 2 on one of the hotel TV’s movie channels. To be not only unafraid of failure but to find opportunity in it is a hallmark of greatness, and with such an admirable mentality, it’s clear that Ryan can achieve anything he sets his mind to—even the impossible.


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