"We all know they’re more animal cookies than they are animal crackers, but I guess I’m the only one with the guts to say anything!"
On animal crackers
"If you’re feeling anxious, just remember to breathe, unless the anxiety stems from the fact that you’re underwater."
"My ideal first date would have been taking my gal to sign the Declaration of Independence. But that happened already, and there’s nothing you can do about it except hope someone got a good first date out of it."