Ever wonder what’s on the mind of today’s most notable people? Well, don’t miss our unbelievable roundup of the best and most talked about quotes of the day:
"Instead of singing the National Anthem, games will now begin with a kissing competition. Each team will send their best kisser out to the pitcher’s mound to lay a smooch on the umpire, who will determine the winner."
On the upcoming baseball season
"Every woman has a part of her body she’s ashamed of, but most don’t own a horse strong enough to rip it off."
"Pirates used to leave all of their money on a deserted island and kill anyone who knew about it. Nowadays I can tell you I bank at Chase, and nobody has to die."