Excuse Me, I’m A Little Shy...But...May I Have Blue Cheese Dressing?

Patrice Tricklette

Excuse me? Oh! I’m sorry. Are you busy? I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I just...I…that is...blue cheese?

Do you have—I mean, would it be possible for me to get? A cup? Of it? May I have? The dressing? It’s white? And very tasty? I like it...because it’s my favorite...oh, speak up? Okay, okay, I’m really, really sorry. I didn’t mean to be impolite, I’m sorry. I’m just...I’m a little shy…but…ah...may I have blue cheese dressing?

Advertisement

Just one cup of blue cheese dressing. Oh, I didn’t say please! Please may I have blue cheese dressing? Sorry...if it’s too much trouble, I understand. I’m so nervous...

It’s okay if you don’t want to give me blue cheese dressing. I...I would like some, though. I hope it’s not rude for me to ask. Sorry. My grandmother gave me $50 to spend on whatever kind of dressing I want. Will $50 be enough for blue cheese dressing? If not, I can come back tomorrow with more. If there is leftover money, I will leave it as a tip. Oh, also, is it...can...should I...may I stand here while you put the blue cheese dressing in a cup? Is there a place I should go? Or...actually, I can go wait in the bathroom, so I’m not in the way. I can come out in 20 minutes to see if the cup of blue cheese dressing is ready. Does that sound…am I imposing? Sorry. Thank you very much.  

Please don’t be mad at me...please...

Oh, just a cup of blue cheese dressing will be okay. Thank you very much. I am only holding a menu over my face...because I am blushing...I’m sorry that I am blushing. I’m always blushing because I am always embarrassed. One time, I blushed so much my grandpa took me to the hospital because he thought I was dying of a fever...and I was too nervous to say I was just a little shy. My uncles say I look like a “little cranberry” when I get embarrassed...they make fun of how much I blush...but it’s okay. I love them very much. Please don’t tell them I said they make fun of me, please—oh, no...I...I got sweat on your menu...I’m so, so sorry. I am so rude. I will pay for a replacement takeout menu. I know they are free, but I insist.

Advertisement

Are you mad at me? If you will no longer sell me blue cheese dressing, or plan to call the police, I will understand. I should have mentioned...the blue cheese dressing is not for salad...I’m going to dip buffalo chicken tenders in...the blue cheese...is that okay...is that...allowed? It makes them...delicious...I wasn’t sure if...you needed to know...sorry...if I’m being rude or I’m breathing too loud just let me know and I’ll go away…ooohhhh god...

I get awful shy about most things...but not around blue cheese dressing...no, I never get shy around blue cheese...it’s...delicious...AHH! That car outside, across the street, it beeped...were they beeping at me, in here? Oh, god, I must have done something awful to them. Okay, I have to go apologize to them, I will be right back for the blue cheese—oh, unless it’s ready now? Wait no, no, sorry that wasn’t me trying to rush you, please take your time—oh, I just realized...it’s...no, nothing, nothing. I—I should have said before...but…I would like it chunky. The chunky? Blue cheese? It’s not creamy? It’s got the little...chunks? I...only like chunky. Is it too late...for chunky...the kind with chunks? Oh, god, I’m so rude...so, so sorry. It’s—it’s...the chunky is...delicious...and I like it...oh, I’m sorry!!! Keep the $50, for any trouble I’ve caused.

Advertisement

Pardon, but...if I may also ask...for...napkins...can I ask—can I ask for napkins, um, for napkins, to come with...the blue cheese dressing? In case I make a mess? Thank you very, very much. Please don’t hurt me. Thank—I’m sorry—thank you so much.

Share This Story