Well, here’s a tale of low-down scumbaggery that’s going to make your blood boil: This middle schooler casually switched from playing the clarinet to the alto saxophone, so he’ll almost certainly cheat on his wife someday.

What an absolute sack of shit this kid is going to be.

Sixth-grader Noah Thompson had spent a full two years playing the clarinet in his school band, but when the new school year rolled around he jumped ship to the alto saxophone with the same selfish faithlessness that will almost definitely cause him to commit adultery somewhere down the road. If it’s so easy for him to switch instruments now, just imagine how quickly he’ll jump from mistress to mistress after supposedly “committing” to his future wife. Those years on clarinet meant nothing to Noah once the shiny new alto saxophone caught his eye, and it won’t be long before Noah’s sneaking out on his long-suffering wife to fuck some yoga instructor in a rundown motel by the highway if this instrument swap is any indication.

Some people just don’t care who they hurt as long as they get theirs.

You’ve got to feel for whichever poor woman winds up married to this capricious son of a bitch, because loyalty and devotion are not something he seems to give even half a shit about. She’ll have to bear the quiet humiliation of the whole town knowing about Noah’s infidelity, too, because he’s been more than happy to tell all of his friends and family how much fun he’s having playing the alto saxophone, even going so far as to write about it for his weekly English journaling assignment. The fickle bastard didn’t even ask if he could keep studying clarinet while he also learned alto sax, and if he can turn his back on the clarinet that easily, there’s no limit to the heartbreak and betrayal he’ll leave in his wake as an adult.

What a downright rotten path this heartless middle schooler has set himself on. Here’s hoping he fucking chokes on that alto saxophone, because there’s nothing but infidelity and deceit in his future now.