Things were going pretty smoothly for the last two hours at the Reginald County Playhouse in Keene, New Hampshire, but now that the cast has taken its final bow, danger is imminent for this family, which has about 30 seconds to get Grandpa to the car before he starts making inappropriate comments about the production of Hairspray they just saw.

This is a high-stakes race against the clock, and disaster could strike at any moment.

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As they usher him out of the lobby and into the parking lot, the entire family is holding their breath, because they know at any moment Grandpa is liable to start sharing his unfiltered opinions about Hairspray’s depiction of sensitive issues like racial integration and fat-shaming. And to make matters worse, based on the way he was grumbling when he realized the main character’s mom was played by a man, it’s clear that Grandpa’s also got some pretty backwards stuff to say about people dressing in drag, and whatever it is absolutely needs to be contained in the privacy of the family car.

This situation is truly harrowing. The family is now just 15 seconds away from the safety of their Honda Odyssey, but even in that short time there’s no limit to the amount of messed up stuff Grandpa could potentially blurt out about the socially progressive musical he just saw. Here’s hoping they can continue to keep Grandpa quiet until he’s comfortably buckled into the middle row where he’ll really give everyone an earful for the rest of the night.