Another controversy enveloped the Catholic Church yesterday when it became apparent to the world that Pope Francis apparently doesn’t realize that everyone can see him if he gets naked inside the glass booth in the Popemobile.
After bidding farewell to a crowd of over 80,000 worshippers following a Papal Audience on Wednesday, Pope Francis climbed into the transparent booth of his Popemobile, shut the door, and immediately began to disrobe, completely unaware that the 3-inch plastic glass surrounding him, though able to withstand explosive blasts, was doing nothing to hide his nudity. Members of the astonished crowd reported that, once free of his papal clothes, Pope Francis kicked them into a corner before sitting down fully nude and letting out a huge sigh.
Over the course of the next several minutes, horrified Catholics looked on as Pope Francis paced around the see-through chamber, periodically spreading his legs apart and bending over in some kind of hamstring stretch that displayed his bare buttocks to tens of thousands of people. Blissfully unaware that the mass of devout Christians outside could see his nude body on full display, the Pope then reportedly began slapping his bare belly like a drum and absentmindedly scratching his crotch as the Popemobile slowly drove him back to the Papal Apartment.
It’s definitely unclear how the Church is going to recover from this public relations nightmare, but Vatican officials need to explain to the Pope as soon as possible that any time he presses his nude body up against the walls of the Popemobile, he is displaying his bare chest and genitals to the entire world. Hopefully, they can get their act together by Sunday’s mass and make sure Pope Francis knows that he can’t take his clothes off until he gets home.