Everything was going totally normal for the first hour or so after the family arrived at the beach this morning, but out of the blue Dad ran up to the family beach towels where we were all chilling and said, “You’ll never guess who’s here at the beach.” He had this crazy smile on his face, so we started guessing really famous people like Taylor Swift and John Cena, but Dad told us, “It’s someone even better,” and led us to the place in the sand where the dying horseshoe crab was lying on its back with its legs kicking around slowly and its tail twitching a little.
Dad didn’t let us get too close to the half-dead horseshoe crab because he “didn’t want to bother him,” and he kept telling the family to “act cool.” Mom tried to explain that he didn’t have to worry about us freaking out because we didn’t really think the horseshoe crab was that interesting, but then Dad shushed Mom because he was afraid that the crab would hear her say she didn’t think he was awesome.
For the next two hours, Dad kept hovering nervously around the horseshoe crab while it lay on its back dying in the sun. At one point Dad positioned himself in front of the crab and pretended to check his phone while he snapped a secret selfie with the crab in the background. At another point, he asked Mom to see if the crab would autograph his beach towel, but Mom said she didn’t want to do that, and Dad said, “I’m nervous to approach him, too.” He also kept talking about how much he wanted to go up to the half-dead horseshoe crab and introduce himself, but then kept talking himself out of it because the crab was probably really busy and had fans approaching him all the time.
Eventually, another wave showed up and pulled the half-dead horseshoe crab back into the ocean where it could either keep dying or be fine. On the drive home, Dad texted the secret selfie he took with the crab in the background to the family chat with the caption “Best Day Of My Life.” Aunt Kaitlyn replied to the text by asking, “What’s that thing behind you?” and Dad kicked her out of the chat again, so now Mom’s going to have to re-add her at some point once Dad’s calmed down.
