Here’s a story about an incredible group of people who proved that when you work together, anything is possible: When a whale washed up on shore, this community banded together to disobey God’s plan.
Wow. This just goes to show that a group of people can unite to spit in the face of the Lord as long as they put aside their differences!
Yesterday morning, a 42-foot-long sperm whale washed onto the shores of Rehoboth Beach in Delaware, and though it had been alive when it appeared on the sand, it was writhing in pain and clearly not far from the death God had chosen for it. Even though the whale would not have been sent to die slowly in the scorching sun if the Lord had not intended for it to perish, a group of concerned beachgoers quickly sprung into action and began working together to pervert God’s grand designs by returning the whale to the sea.
Teamwork FTW!! It just goes to show that when heretics work together, they can make themselves hateful in the eyes of the Lord by usurping His role as the sole arbiter of who shall live and who shall die!
Though the whale cried out and moaned in what should have been a private conversation with the Lord during its last minutes on Earth, these brave people cooperated to seamlessly lift and push the whale together so as to interfere with the Lord’s Divine Will. Despite heavy winds and rising tides—clear omens from the Lord that these heathens should stop in their tracks—they remained focused as they rebelled against the wishes of God. And when they finally returned the whale to the sea, they started hugging and jumping up and down in celebration of their utter defiance of the Lord!
A representative from the Delaware Department of Natural Resources confirmed that if the whale had spent even two more minutes above water, it wouldn’t have survived, making it all the more impressive that these people managed to disrupt the Lord’s intentions just in the nick of time!
Just awesome. Though these beachgoers will not go unpunished, and our vengeful, jealous God will visit upon them divine retribution, for now they’re celebrating their incredible accomplishment. Let this be a lesson to people everywhere: With some cooperation and commitment, you, too, can disobey the Lord!