Car Of The Future: Elon Musk Has Revealed That The Next Tesla Will Feature A Ziploc Bag Of Cashews In The Glove Compartment

Tech visionary Elon Musk took to the internet earlier today to announce a key feature of his latest Tesla model, and based on this bombshell, it sounds like it’s going to be one of his most futuristic creations yet: Elon Musk just revealed that the next Tesla will feature a Ziploc bag of cashews in the glove…

Privacy Violation: If You’ve Started Noticing Bananas That Look Like You, You’re Not The Only Facebook User Whose Data Has Been Sold To Chiquita

Despite repeated promises to take better care of user data, it seems like Facebook is up to its old tricks again. If you’ve been seeing bananas with your face at the supermarket, you’re not the only one. Facebook admitted that it’s sold user data to the Chiquita banana corporation, and now millions of people are…

Taking Responsibility: Mark Zuckerberg Has Announced That Any Articles Posted On Facebook Will Now Go Through Strict Vetting To Make Sure They Align With The Company’s Tireless Commitment To Generating Massive Amounts Of Revenue

Mark Zuckerberg faced enormous public backlash this week after he defended Holocaust deniers’ right to disseminate their views on Facebook, but this morning he stepped up to allay Facebook users’ concerns in a big way: Zuckerberg announced that from now on, Facebook will rigorously vet the articles posted on its site…

Another Failure: Facebook Is Scrambling To Beef Up Security After Discovering Millions Of Users Who Falsely Listed Their Education As ‘School Of Hard Knocks’

Facebook has had a terrible year, and it looks like things are only getting worse. The social media behemoth just announced that it’s scrambling to beef up security after discovering millions of users who have falsely listed their education as “School of Hard Knocks,” a university that does not seem to exist in any…

Incredible: Bethesda Revealed That ‘Fallout 76’ Will Show What Earth Would Be Like If The Arizona Diamondbacks Hadn’t Won The 2001 World Series

There’s a lot of mystery surrounding Bethesda’s newly announced game Fallout 76, but we now have one crucial piece of information about the hotly anticipated title. The game will be set in an alternate history where we get to see what the world would look like if the Arizona Diamondbacks did not win the 2001 World…

Extremely Frustrating: This Man Is Tired Of His Elderly Parents Calling Him For Technology Help Every Time Their Android Servant Becomes Self-Aware And Tries To Rip Their Skin Off

As your parents age, it’s only natural to want to help them in any way you can, but sometimes their inability to master the latest technology can seriously drive you crazy. No one knows that better than Bryan Glover, who is tired of his elderly parents calling him for help every time their android servant becomes…

Deleting Facebook Has Allowed Me To Get Back To Stoking Racial Prejudice With My Friends And Family In Person

I joined Facebook more than 10 years ago because I wanted to stay connected with family, friends and old acquaintances, but lately I’d noticed that logging so many hours on the social media site was actually making me more isolated and disconnected than I ever was before. So last month I decided to get rid of my…

Every Night I Lie Awake, Worrying About The Possibility Of Coinstar Technology Falling Into The Wrong Hands (By Jens Molbak, Founder Of Coinstar)

As founder of Coinstar, I invented the machine for a single purpose. I envisioned a world where, with my advanced coin-sorting technology, people could come into a supermarket, place their coins in the machine, and just seconds later, walk away with either cash or credit. Coinstar technology is incredible, and it has…

Major Advance: Google’s DeepMind AI Has Learned How To Get Defensive About Artistic Criticism That It Asked For

Artificial intelligence programs are getting smarter every day, but thanks to recent technological advances, the minds of machines are the most human-like they’ve ever been. Yep, this latest innovation in computer science is definitely one for the books: Google’s DeepMind AI has learned how to get defensive about…

Danger Ahead: Scientists Are Warning That Driverless Cars Of The Future Could Easily Be Hacked To Honk Out ‘Narcos’ Spoilers In Morse Code

Here’s some news that has startling ramifications for the future of technology. While self-driving cars were once considered to be safer than non-autonomous vehicles, they could be far more dangerous than previously thought: Scientists have issued a warning that the driverless cars of the future could easily be hacked…