ATTACK ON FREEDOM: HATE-MONGERING HILLARYITES Just Shooed Stephen Miller Away From The Bird Feeder Where He Was PEACEFULLY ENJOYING BREAKFAST

Patriots, our liberty is being threatened by DISRESPECTFUL DEMS. Stephen Miller was CALMLY eating his breakfast of seeds and cracked corn out of a PUBLIC bird feeder this morning when RUDE liberals with NO MANNERS approached him and drove him away with a broom. Make no mistake, patriots: This is a slippery slope. We…

Ethical Eating FTW! Chick-Fil-A Has Announced It Will No Longer Get Its Chickens By Kidnapping People In Parking Garages And Transforming Them Into Chickens With Witchcraft

One of the nation’s most iconic fast-food chains is seriously changing the way it does business, and it has animal rights activists cheering: Chick-fil-A has announced that it will no longer be producing its chickens by kidnapping people in parking garages and turning them into chickens using witchcraft.

Switching Gears: Michelin Guide Has Announced That It’s Tired Of Judging Restaurants And It’s Just Going To Give 3 Stars To Any Restaurant That Does That Liquid-Nitrogen Shit

The foodies of the Michelin Guide have been combing meticulously through tens of thousands of restaurants around the world for more than a century, but the gold standard in restaurant ratings is about to undergo a major change: Michelin has announced that it’s tired of judging restaurants and it’s just going to give…

Check Your Fridge: Perdue Is Recalling 50,000 Chicken Breasts After They Left The Factory Without Getting A Little Kiss Goodbye

If you were planning to cook up some chicken for dinner tonight, you might want to double-check the package after this startling announcement from one of the world’s largest chicken suppliers: Perdue Farms is recalling 50,000 chicken breasts after they left the factory without getting a little kiss goodbye.

Check Out This New Benihana-Style Restaurant Where They Work Out The Schedule For The Week Right In Front Of You

Foodies, take note, because you’re going to want to check out this new restaurant that’s offering a bold twist on the traditional Benihana-style experience. The newly opened Japanese restaurant not only prepares all of your food right at your table, but also proceeds to work out the schedule for the upcoming week…

6 Old Acquaintances Who Conveniently Came Out Of The Woodwork Right When I Won A Lifetime Supply Of Angelo Parodi Sardine Portoghesi All’Olio Di Oliva

After winning a lifetime supply of delicious Angelo Parodi Sardine Portoghesi All’Olio di Oliva, I thought I was going to be on easy street for the rest of my life. On the contrary, I had no idea how many old “friends” would suddenly show up looking to get a taste of my haul. Here are six old acquaintances who came

Social Media Win: Monsanto Is Letting Twitter Vote On How Much Alligator DNA Will Be Inserted Into This Year’s Grape Harvest

Internet, get ready to make your voice heard! One of our favorite companies is giving customers the ability to shape its next product via Twitter, and you are not gonna want to miss out: Monsanto just announced that it is letting the public vote online for how much alligator DNA will get put into this year’s grape…

Utterly Nauseating: Chick-Fil-A Is Getting Slammed On Twitter After One Customer Found An Uncooked Nancy Grace In Their Spicy Chicken Sandwich

If you have a weak stomach, you might want to read something else, because without a doubt, this is the most disgusting story you’re going to see all day. It’ll likely make you reconsider eating at Chick-Fil-A for the foreseeable future: The fast-food company is getting absolutely slammed on Twitter after a customer…

‘May I, Papa?’: McDonald’s Is Releasing A New Fig And Ladyfinger McFlurry For Fancy Little Boys Who Desire A Treat

Don your tartan-print leisure knickers and command Barkley to warm up the Rolls-Royce, because McDonald’s is releasing a toothsome new offering for America’s blue-blooded lads. In a press release this morning, the fast-food giant announced it is coming out with a new fig and ladyfinger McFlurry for fancy little boys…