Well, here’s a good reminder to pay attention to the world around you lest you miss the encounter of a lifetime: This man watching porn at the public library has no idea that he’s sitting just one table away from the best history student in Mrs. Miller’s whole fourth-grade class.

He’s sure going to be kicking himself when he realizes who he ignored to watch his pornography!

If the man intently watching hard-core porn on the public library’s free wi-fi could turn away from his double-penetration videos for just one minute and look at who’s in the library with him, he’d discover that the boy at the table behind him is none other than James Leven, the star pupil of Mrs. Miller’s fourth-grade history class. It’s not every day that you’re seated by a kid who got 102 percent on his American Revolution unit test and had the first page of his Abraham Lincoln essay put up on the overhead projector to demonstrate good paragraph structure, but somehow the guy heedlessly streaming cum shot after cum shot on the library’s computer remains totally oblivious to his proximity to Carver Elementary’s resident history wunderkind.

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We’re talking about the kid Mrs. Miller cast as George Washington in the class play here! How can this guy not appreciate that?

You’ve got to feel bad for this haplessly unaware pornography enthusiast, because right now he’s watching three erotic videos simultaneously without headphones when he could be watching Leven construct an absolutely flawless diorama for Mrs. Miller’s “The First Thanksgiving” creative project. This is a student with perfect marks in quizzes, homework, and participation, and he’ll probably only be in the library for as long as it takes him to research what the pilgrims served for food and how they were dressed, so if this guy doesn’t take a break from wordlessly nodding at blowjob videos soon, he’ll miss his one shot at witnessing the learning process of the only kid in the fourth grade who can recite the preamble to the Constitution entirely from memory. It’s absolutely heartbreaking to watch him squander such an incredible opportunity!

You hate to see someone failing to make the most of an incredible chance encounter like this. Here’s hoping this guy turns around soon, because otherwise he might never realize just how close he was sitting to true greatness.