Some babies are okay, but not these ones. These ones are ass. We don’t give a shit about these babies and hope they blow up.

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Look at this loud, pointless baby. Why is it yelling? It’s on a nice, soft cloud with all its favorite animals. It should be happy and grateful. Fuck this baby. Send it to the garbage dump.

You just know this baby is listening to something stupid. Babies have shit taste in music. All their favorite songs are about shapes. It’s embarrassing. Listen to some good songs for once, asshole.

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Absolutely disgusting. Beyond vulgar. Just a god-awful sight to behold. No thanks.

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“You totally suck and I wish I’d gotten a snowmobile instead,” says the mother. We agree—this baby sucks a lot and is way worse than a snowmobile!

Yep, you figured it out, that’s food. Moron. Get this baby away from us.

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Stolen valor! Stolen valor! Not a real judge! This baby must be punished!

Why are you frowning, baby? We’d be grinning ear to ear if we got to sit in a bucket this nice. Fuck off to hell, you ingrate. We don’t give a shit about you.

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What the fuck is this? Pass.

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HARD PASS.

This baby is feeling rightfully ashamed for not understanding toilets. We, too, are ashamed of this baby.

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Yeah, that’s right. Stay the fuck in there, baby. No one wants you here. We have enough babies.