Ever wonder what’s on the mind of today’s most notable people? Well, don’t miss our unbelievable roundup of the best and most talked about quotes of the day:
"When I was a kid, I was at a house party and the cops showed up. Everyone scattered, but I took all the empty cans and glued them to myself. When the cops saw me, they immediately turned heel and left the premises. Cops know not to mess with a guy covered in cans. That guy is capable of anything."
On his childhood
"I’m starting to think it’s not a coincidence that there’s always ants and never a fortune inside my fortune cookie."
"They used to put the missing kids right there on the carton. Now, you have to email the milk company directly and ask if anyone’s missing, and you’re lucky if you ever hear back."
On the old days