Ever wonder what’s on the mind of today’s most notable people? Well, don’t miss our unbelievable roundup of the best and most talked about quotes of the day:
"When I was 19 years old, I bought a one-way bus ticket to L.A. with nothing but a pair of shoulder pads, a helmet, cleats, a mouthguard, and a dream. Now? I’m often on the same TVs that football games are shown on!"
"I get my antique vase collection appraised every year. This year, the appraiser smashed three of my vases with a hammer, and its value plummeted. Last year, he stole me 10 vases from an antiques museum, and its value shot through the roof! The tricky thing is, you never know exactly which way the market will go."
"I came up with the idea for a monkey with a pouch on its stomach, but someone beat me to it first. That’s why kangaroos are on my shit list."