Ever wonder what’s on the mind of today’s most notable people? Well, don’t miss our unbelievable roundup of the best and most talked about quotes of the day:
"Sadly, the dishwasher in my kitchen has had to step up as my muse ever since the person who used to come and vomit hot, sudsy water on the floor while I played piano found a new gig."
On finding inspiration
"My favorite actor? My lawnmower. My lawnmower has a 56-volt lithium ion cordless battery, a three-in-one variable speed shelf, and a state-of-the-art atomic blade stop system with a 10-year warranty guarantee. Someday, I hope to be half the actor my lawnmower is."
On his favorite actor
"Every time I choke on a cashew, I promise myself I will never eat them again. Then I win some free cashews in a raffle, and all bets are off."
On why fad diets never work