As the leader of the free world, the president of the United States is often the first person extraterrestrials will seek out when they want to make contact with Earth, but on the rare occasions when this happens, those meetings are almost never of consequence. Here are four encounters throughout history between a sitting U.S. president and an alien civilization that didn’t matter and were a big waste of time.
In the middle of the night of April 6, 1919, President Woodrow Wilson woke up in bed to find himself surrounded by glowing lights. His window opened and tall, gray creatures from the Andromeda Galaxy entered his room. “Woodrow Wilson, leader of Earth?” the creatures asked. “Yes, that’s me,” said President Wilson. “Look at this,” the aliens said, and they showed Woodrow Wilson a plain white T-shirt with the words “I’m The Invincible Mr. Restroom” written across it. “I don’t want that,” said President Wilson. “We weren’t offering it to you. We were just showing it to you,” said the aliens. Then they boarded their spacecraft and returned to the depths of space. Nothing got accomplished during the meeting, and it would have been better if it hadn’t happened at all.
On the evening of July 19, 1943, President Franklin D. Roosevelt was on the White House lawn contemplating the United States’ battles in World War II, when an interstellar spacecraft piloted by beings from a small planet in the distant Horsehead Nebula emerged from the sky and landed on the lawn. A glowing hatch opened on the ship and a luminescent figure radiating a silver light emerged. FDR asked the extraterrestrial, “Are you an alien from another planet?” and the alien said, “No,” and then got back into his ship and blasted off into space.
President Dwight Eisenhower was called to a military base in Roswell, NM, where army personnel had captured a downed alien spacecraft. The alien was being kept in an observation chamber, and President Eisenhower pressed his hand to the glass and said to the alien, “Why have you come here?” and the extraterrestrial, a creature whose bright blue skin was studded with bright red growths that may have been his eyes, said to President Eisenhower, “Eisenhower of Earth, know this: I have traveled 6.2 billion light-years here to tell you that there’s a being on my home planet that looks a little bit like a dumb triangular version of you.” And President Eisenhower said, “I’m going to fucking kill you,” and the alien got really scared and started screaming, and to calm him down the soldiers in the room tried to play classical music, but the sound waves of the classical music made the alien’s head explode into a shower of blue gunk. President Eisenhower looked at the puddle of alien guts on the ground and said, “That shit looks like blue sunscreen.” Then he left. It was, on the whole, a pointless encounter.
Fifty-three years ago, an alien spacecraft from the Alpha Centauri star system landed on the west lawn of the White House while President Lyndon Johnson was strolling through the Rose Garden. Translucent creatures with gigantic eyes emerged from the spacecraft and held up a football to show it to President Johnson. “Lyndon Johnson, what is this?” asked one of the aliens. “I have no fucking clue,” said President Johnson. The aliens silently turned around and got back on their ship and flew away. All in all, the whole thing was totally useless for both civilizations involved.