5 Enchanted Animals That Whimsically Dress Me Up Like Snow White Every Fucking Morning Even Though I Work At An Investment Bank And Obviously Can’t Show Up Dressed Like That

Somehow a bunch of enchanted woodland animals get into my apartment every morning to dress me up like Snow White even though I’m an adult man who lives in Midtown fucking Manhattan and works as a risk methodology analyst at Deutsche Bank. I have to undo the whole goddamn outfit before work, and it’s ruining my chances

Epic Clapback: Ariana Grande Has Responded To Online Trolls By Transforming Into A Sturdy Oak Tree That Can Neither See Nor Hear Their Taunts

It seems like internet trolls are becoming more ruthless than ever these days, but one social media icon has found a truly epic way to block out haters once and for all: Ariana Grande has responded to online trolls by transforming into a sturdy oak tree that can neither see nor hear their taunts!

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Absolutely Pathetic: Just 10 Minutes Into This Sleepover, This Boy Is Already Laying The Groundwork For Calling His Mom To Come Take Him Home Early

Eight-year-old Patrick Angstrom of Durham, NC just proved himself to be one of the weakest, most embarrassing human beings on Earth. Patrick is currently attending a sleepover at his friend’s house, and just 10 minutes in, Patrick is already laying the groundwork for calling his mom to take him home early.

Incredible Timing: The Backlash Against The Wellness Industry Has Coincided Perfectly With This Man’s Commitment To Not Making Any Meaningful Changes In His Life

Every now and then in life, the stars align in just the right way for remarkable things to happen, and here’s an amazing example of just that: The recent backlash against the wellness industry has coincided perfectly with this man’s commitment to not making any meaningful changes in his life.

In The Presence Of Greatness: This Man Watching Porn At The Public Library Has No Idea That He’s Sitting One Table Away From The Best History Student In Mrs. Miller’s Whole 4th-Grade Class

Well, here’s a good reminder to pay attention to the world around you lest you miss the encounter of a lifetime: This man watching porn at the public library has no idea that he’s sitting just one table away from the best history student in Mrs. Miller’s whole fourth-grade class.

5 Actors Who Were Rappers Right After They Went On To Become Rude To Fans Immediately Before They Were Poor Which Was At The Same Time That They Were Famous And Also They Used To Be Jerks

Before the following actors were poor and famous for their movie superstardom that made them world-renowned for being completely unknown, they had an unbelievable work ethic as rappers who were wealthy and rude right before they lost all their money and became famous too!

Disney World Has Launched A New DNA Testing Service Where You Send Them A Sample Of Your Vomit To Find Out If Your Ancestors Ever Puked On Space Mountain

Disney World is doing something really cool for anyone who wants to find out more about their family tree: Park officials just announced that Disney World has launched a new DNA testing service where you send them a sample of your vomit to find out if your ancestors ever puked on Space Mountain!