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Will Hanukkah Consume You?

When the world-swallowing Candle Scream of Hanukkah comes blasting out of the woods, what course of action will you take to protect your brain? Will you remember who you are when Hanukkah comes ripping through the world, or will your mind get ruined in the furious candle-tantrum? Take this quiz to find out!

  1. 1. Do you or anyone in your family suffer from a history of Candle Fever?
  2. 2. What is your favorite Candle Shanty?
  3. 3. Hanukkah has many servants. They ride into town on the frigid winds of Hanukkah and do Candle Mischief to whatever they find. Have any of these Soldiers of Hanukkah visited you in dreams as the candle-madness of furious Hanukkah approaches?
  4. 4. What is the true meaning of Hanukkah?
  5. 5. Please take a moment to contemplate the following monster:
    Have you gone bonkers?
  6. 6. Hanukkah comes from the woods.
  • Results for Will Hanukkah Consume You?

    Hanukkah Will Devour You.

    Hanukkah will devour you. According to the data you have provided, you will be subsumed into the shrieking candle-tsunami of Hanukkah and it will carry you away forever. When Hanukkah comes bellowing out of the woods, you will be defenseless against its Candle Mischief and you will go bonkers. You will go wailing into the candlelit madness of Hanukkah, and fathers will point you out to their sons and say, “Look, son, there is a good example of a person who ripped their mind out on account of Hanukkah.” Even now, you are caught in the Candle Spider’s web of wicks, and She is scuttling toward you as we speak to suck the reasonable thoughts out of your mind and leave you candle-crazy. Happy Hanukkah.
  • Results for Will Hanukkah Consume You?

    You Will Rush Headlong Into The Candle-Toothed Mouth Of Hanukkah.

    Your ruthless candlelust will propel you headlong into the Mouth of Hanukkah, whose many teeth are candles. Deep down, you have always wished to go bonkers with Candle Fever, and now, here in the shrieking winds of furious Hanukkah, it is finally happening for you. At last, you will become one with the candle-tempest of Hanukkah; you will run free into the candle-tantrum of Hanukkah forever, barking Candle Shanties into the candle-pocked sky and doing Candle Mischief to everything in your path. Congratulations on this achievement. Happy Hanukkah.
  • Results for Will Hanukkah Consume You?

    You Will Escape The Jaws Of Hanukkah.

    According to the data you have provided, you will somehow escape the candle-toothed mouth of Hanukkah, and you will stay reasonable even as Hanukkah drowns the Universe in Candle Problems. Even when the family you love rips out their minds in the candle-tsunami of Hanukkah, you will take it all in stride and simply say, “Well, I guess they’re bonkers now.” And when the frigid tempest of Hanukkah finally returns to the woods, you shall remain intact, sound of mind, and able to begin repairing the candle-wrecked world Hanukkah left in its ruinous wake. How wonderful you must feel to know this! Happy Hanukkah!

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