ClickHole

Wenceslas, Goddamn It, Where Have You Gone And Put My Medallion?

My medallion! It was right here! And yet it is nowhere to be found…Wenceslas, you scoundrel! You fucking…Wenceslas, goddamn it! Where have you gone and placed it?

  1. 1. I distinctly remember placing my medallion right here, Wenceslas. My precious medallion that I love to have and hold, Wenceslas. THAT medallion. I placed it right here, and I said to you, “Wenceslas, I am going to the market to fetch some hardboileds.” That is what I said, Wenceslas! Hardboileds, Wenceslas! That is for what I had left the medallion upon the dresser here! And you, Wenceslas, what did you say? NOTHING as usual, you pathetic fool! You miserable dolt! But I did see the yearning in your eyes, Wenceslas. Your yearning for my medallion! Ashes of Gomorrah, Wenceslas! Where have your fingers gone and placed it, you massive shit!
  2. 2. I know you’re here, Wenceslas! I hear the bells on your shoes jangling. Jangling, jangling, always jangling! Everywhere Wenceslas goes, a tune is played upon his toes! Curse you and your jangling shoes, Wenceslas! With each jangle you taunt me evermore! Reveal yourself, Wenceslas! It is time to confess to your crime!
  3. 3. Wenceslas, you know how much that medallion means to me! It was awarded to me by the Duke of China! The Duke of China, Wenceslas! Do you know how many medallions the Duke of China gives out? I’ll give you a hint…Not many, Wenceslas! Very few in fact! About one every two years! But sometimes he forgets! He forgets, Wenceslas! And he won’t give out a medallion four fucking years in a row, Wenceslas! So, it’s a pretty rare thing, you know! To get a medallion from the Duke of China! Fuck, Wenceslas! Fucking…where the fuck are you!
  4. 4. Here you are, Wenceslas. Did you not hear me? I’ve been yelling for you for minutes! Where did you get all those peacock feathers? Nevermind, Wenceslas! Wenceslas, my medallion! Where have you gone to and placed my medallion!
  5. 5. No, you may not have a hardboiled, Wenceslas! Not until you return to me what is mine and which you have STOLEN! How DARE you ask me for one of MY hardboileds when you have already taken that which is MOST precious to me! Curses upon you, Wenceslas! You fiend! You goddamn fucking fiend you fucking…Goddamn it, Wenceslas, give me my fucking medallion or I swear to god I am going to zap you! I’ll zap the fuck out of you, Wenceslas! I WILL do it!
  6. 6. Look at you, Wenceslas. Look at your green cap. And your slack suspenders that hang by your sides. What are they for, Wenceslas? If you refuse to wear them on your shoulders, then why even have them at all? Oh, I see, you’re hanging your wet laundry off them so it may dry. That’s fucking insane, Wenceslas. That doesn’t make any goddamn sense at all! And what about your sleeves, Wenceslas! We haven’t even mentioned your sleeves! Your sleeves are too long, Wenceslas! Far too long! They drag upon the ground, Wenceslas! My god, those sleeves must be shortened. I’ll shorten them myself, once I’ve located by medallion! Where did you put it, you fiend! You fox! You turkeyboy, you clod! Calamity man! ZOUNDS!!!!!!!!
  7. 7. What are you doing? Oh no no no no no. Don’t think you can fix this by disrobing, Wenceslas. Nope. No, sir! You can’t fuck your way out of this one, Wenceslas! No, indeed! Put your parka back on and face me like a man! There was a time, Wenceslas…There was a time in my life I might have been susceptible to your flesh schemes, Wenceslas! But not today, Wenceslas! Not by a long fucking shot, Wenceslas! Relinquish, the effing medallion, Wenceslas! The fucking effing goddamn medallion! I require it!
  8. 8. IS IT IN YOUR MOUTH, WENCESLAS! LET ME SEE INSIDE OF THAT STUPID MOUTH OF YOURS, WENCESLAS! LET ME GET INSIDE OF THAT FUCKING MOUTH AND SEE IF YOU HAVE HIDDEN MY TREASURE IN THE FOREST OF YOUR TEETH! YOU SCOUNDREL! YOU FOOL! I SWEAR, WENCESLAS, IF YOU HAVE BEEN CHEWING ON MY MEDALLION TO EASE YOUR TOOTHACHE, I WILL MURDER YOU! I SWEAR WENCESLAS! I SWEAR IT! MURDER WILL HAPPEN, WENCESLAS! YES IT WILL!
  9. 9. Oh, here it is. It was underneath my tobacco pouch. I must have forgotten. Wenceslas…
  10. 10. I misjudged you, Wenceslas…I am…I don’t know what to say…
  • Results for Wenceslas, Goddamn It, Where Have You Gone And Put My Medallion?

    Care For A Hardboiled?

    Here you are, Wenceslas. Here is a hardboiled for you. Now be gone. I have matters to attend to in the woods. Do NOT follow me, Wenceslas! Do not even fucking think of following me into the woods, where I have some serious goddamn shit to do! Good evening, Wenceslas! Fucking…go to bed.

I am 18 or over and willing to view sexually explicit material