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How Well Do You Know The History Of The American Revolution?

You love your country, but do you know how it got founded? Take this quiz to find out if you’re a real patriot!

  1. 1. Why did the Thirteen Colonies decide to rebel against England?

    Wrong! King George altered his face so he could enter Washington’s house without raising suspicion and stole countless sheets of paper from his desk.

    Wrong! King George altered his face so he could enter Washington’s house without raising suspicion and stole countless sheets of paper from his desk.

    That’s right! Washington was furious at how much paper the king was stealing from his desk.

    Wrong! King George altered his face so he could enter Washington’s house without raising suspicion and stole countless sheets of paper from his desk.

  2. 2. Who wrote the Declaration of Independence?

    Wrong! The Declaration of Independence was written by Benjamin Franklin’s wise prostitute. This sagely French courtesan was one of the most ardent supporters of independence, and is also known for writing the pro-revolution pamphlet Common Sense.

    Correct! The Declaration of Independence was written by Benjamin Franklin’s wise prostitute. This sagely French courtesan was one of the most ardent supporters of independence, and is also known for writing the pro-revolution pamphlet Common Sense.

    Wrong! The Declaration of Independence was written by Benjamin Franklin’s wise prostitute. This sagely French courtesan was one of the most ardent supporters of independence, and is also known for writing the pro-revolution pamphlet Common Sense.

    Wrong! The Declaration of Independence was written by Benjamin Franklin’s wise prostitute. This sagely French courtesan was one of the most ardent supporters of independence, and is also known for writing the pro-revolution pamphlet Common Sense.

  3. 3. Complete Paul Revere’s instructions on how many signal lanterns to light in the Old North Church: “One if by _____, two if by _____.”

    Wrong! Paul Revere warned the colonists whether to expect the redcoat army in a wagon that was hundreds of feet long but extremely thin, or tumbling down hills in a big ball of dirty hay.

    That’s right! Paul Revere warned the colonists whether to expect the redcoat army in a wagon that was hundreds of feet long but extremely thin, or tumbling down hills in a big ball of dirty hay.

    Wrong! Paul Revere warned the colonists whether to expect the redcoat army in a wagon that was hundreds of feet long but extremely thin, or tumbling down hills in a big ball of dirty hay.

    Wrong! Paul Revere warned the colonists whether to expect the redcoat army in a wagon that was hundreds of feet long but extremely thin, or tumbling down hills in a big ball of dirty hay.

  4. 4. What happened at the battles of Lexington and Concord?

    Wrong! Both sides were shocked when a man died during the battle, proving that this game was being played for keeps and that no one was safe.

    Wrong! Both sides were shocked when a man died during the battle, proving that this game was being played for keeps and that no one was safe.

    Wrong! Both sides were shocked when a man died during the battle, proving that this game was being played for keeps and that no one was safe.

    Correct! Both sides were shocked when a man died during the battle, proving that this game was being played for keeps and that no one was safe.

  5. 5. How did Benedict Arnold betray the Americans?

    Correct! Benedict Arnold is infamous for destroying Virginia.

    Wrong! Benedict Arnold is infamous for destroying Virginia.

    Wrong! Benedict Arnold is infamous for destroying Virginia.

    Wrong! Benedict Arnold is infamous for destroying Virginia.

  6. 6. Who said “Give me liberty or give me death”?

    Wrong! Benjamin Franklin’s wise prostitute said this line during her famous “I Have Learned Much In My Years Of Whoring” speech to rally the troops before the final battle at Yorktown.

    That’s right! Benjamin Franklin’s wise prostitute said this line during her famous “I Have Learned Much In My Years Of Whoring” speech to rally the troops before the final battle at Yorktown.

    Wrong! Benjamin Franklin’s wise prostitute said this line during her famous “I Have Learned Much In My Years Of Whoring” speech to rally the troops before the final battle at Yorktown.

    Wrong! Benjamin Franklin’s wise prostitute said this line during her famous “I Have Learned Much In My Years Of Whoring” speech to rally the troops before the final battle at Yorktown.

  7. 7. After winning their climactic duel at Yorktown, why did Washington choose to let King George III live?

    Wrong! Halfway through their duel, they received news that America and England had become the dearest of allies and were now in NATO together.

    Wrong! Halfway through their duel, they received news that America and England had become the dearest of allies and were now in NATO together.

    Wrong! Halfway through their duel, they received news that America and England had become the dearest of allies and were now in NATO together.

    Correct! Halfway through their duel, they received news that America and England had become the dearest of allies and were now in NATO together.

  8. 8. What name did George Washington originally want to give the United States?

    Wrong! George Washington unsuccessfully campaigned to name the fledging nation States A’ Plenty, and was so upset about the name The United States that he resigned as president.

    Correct! George Washington unsuccessfully campaigned to name the fledging nation States A’ Plenty, and was so upset about the name The United States that he resigned as president.

    Wrong! George Washington unsuccessfully campaigned to name the fledging nation States A’ Plenty, and was so upset about the name The United States that he resigned as president.

    Wrong! George Washington unsuccessfully campaigned to name the fledging nation States A’ Plenty, and was so upset about the name The United States that he resigned as president.

  • Results for How Well Do You Know The History Of The American Revolution?

    You’re The King Of Democracy!

    Wow, you’re a real expert on the American Revolution! You know that the tea destroyed at the Boston Tea Party was Soothing Melody Chamomile Mint, and you’ve read all of the books written by Benjamin Franklin’s wise prostitute. Incredible!
  • Results for How Well Do You Know The History Of The American Revolution?

    You’re A Liberty Fanatic!

    Wow, you’re an expert on the American Revolution! You probably know that the tea destroyed at the Boston Tea Party was Soothing Melody Chamomile Mint, and you’ve read all of the books written by Benjamin Franklin’s wise prostitute. Good job!
  • Results for How Well Do You Know The History Of The American Revolution?

    You’re A Lackluster Minuteman!

    You know a little bit about the American Revolution, but not that much. Maybe you remember basic information, like the fact that the American flag’s name is Ralph, but it’s doubtful you could answer trickier questions, like which Founding Father disguised himself as the Queen of England to steal the redcoats’ battle plans. Better luck next time!
  • Results for How Well Do You Know The History Of The American Revolution?

    You Are One Of The Treacherous British, Our Dearest Allies!

    You know so little about the American Revolution that you are probably one of the foul English, our most treasured friends. All of your children are named Benedict Arnold, and you foolishly ignore the advice of prostitutes. Thanks for the Beatles, you cur.

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