ClickHole

Are Your Legs Fucked Up Enough For My Risky Leg Cream Trial?

Only the most truly fucked-up legs will be admitted to the trial.

  1. 1. How fucked up are your legs?
  2. 2. For this trial, your legs need to be incredibly absorbent, as the cream can be very dangerous unless it’s fully sucked into the pores of your skin. How absorbent are your legs?

    Again, just to be clear, the FDA not only hasn’t approved my cream trial, they are also actively trying to kill me, and I have to keep switching identities to stay one step ahead of them. Just want you to know that.

  3. 3. This cream is known to melt sidewalks, bathtubs, and glass. If your legs were to get melted, would it improve them?
  4. 4. I need to know some more specifics about how fucked up your legs are, because the U.N. has technically classified the cream as a chemical weapon. How pant-like are your pants?
  5. 5. How brave are your legs when it comes to being slathered in creams that have received no oversight or quality control of any kind?
  6. 6. Currently, how good are your legs at strolling?
  7. 7. So far, I’ve only tested my cream by spreading it on the legs of unwitting sunbathers at the beach, by spraying it from my car onto several species of animals, and on chimp cadaver legs. The trials on everything but cadaver chimp legs have all gone horribly wrong. How similar are your legs to cadaver chimp legs?
  8. 8. My leg cream has caused the total extinction of several animal species. How good are your legs at growing back?
  9. 9. Do your legs welcome numbness, tingling, odorous emissions, tangle-bone, shortness of breath, hawk’s ankle, knee liquefaction, and toe foreskins?
  10. 10. The following question is to be answered only by your legs themselves. Do you want to try the cream?
  • Results for Are Your Legs Fucked Up Enough For My Risky Leg Cream Trial?

    Your Legs Aren't Nearly Fucked-Up Enough For My Risky Leg Cream Trial.

    Honestly, I don't know why you even took the test. Your legs are as non-fucked-up as possible, and you know it. Go find yourself a leg cream trial that's not as risky as mine and stop wasting everyone's time.
  • Results for Are Your Legs Fucked Up Enough For My Risky Leg Cream Trial?

    Your Legs May Someday Be Fucked Up Enough For My Risky Leg Cream Trial, But They've Got A Long Way To Go.

    There's definitely some pretty fucked-up things about your legs, but not enough that I feel comfortable letting you slather yourself with such a high-risk cream. Better luck next time!
  • Results for Are Your Legs Fucked Up Enough For My Risky Leg Cream Trial?

    Oh, So Close! Your Legs Are Nearly Fucked Up Enough To Participate In The First Consensual Human Trial Of My Leg Cream.

    Wow, you've got some really fucked-up legs, and they'd be fucked-up enough for nearly any risky leg cream trial, but my leg cream trial is so risky that I'm really only comfortable testing the most fucked-up of legs.
  • Results for Are Your Legs Fucked Up Enough For My Risky Leg Cream Trial?

    Your Legs Are Fucked Up Enough For My Risky Leg Cream Trial!

    Jesus Christ, you've got some fucked-up legs there, pal! Definitely fucked-up enough for my risky leg cream trial, and any other risky leg-related trials around. Here's how this works: I'm going to send you a 5-gallon pail of my leg cream via a FedEx hazardous-goods shipment. There's no real instructions; just follow your instincts and do with the cream what it calls you to do. After a year, take photos of what's left of your legs and rate your legs on a scale of 1-10. That's it! For completing the trial you will receive a trial-size pouch of my leg cream. Thanks for your participation!

I am 18 or over and willing to view sexually explicit material