ClickHole

Are You Secure Enough To Handle A Few Digs About Your Porcelain Dove Collection?

Look, there are plenty of nice things to say about your porcelain doves. But if someone made a few digs at your collection’s expense, would you be able to handle it? Take this quiz to find out!

  1. 1. Let’s start off small here and work our way up. Collecting porcelain doves is a total waste of time. How do you respond?
  2. 2. Here’s another relatively easy pill to swallow. Your porcelain doves look way too fragile. Like, way more fragile than regular porcelain.
  3. 3. The way your 14 doves are arranged across the mantel, it sort of looks like they’re meant to be a set. But in terms of color and size, they really do not match at all.
  4. 4. Let’s take a quick break from the insults. Please choose the statement that best describes your collection of porcelain doves.
  5. 5. Just a heads-up, this next diss is going to be brutal: Your doves are completely worthless, and when you die they’re going right in the trash because all of your closest friends and family have secretly hated them and, by extension, you, and they will be happy that you are dead. People will take turns smashing your precious doves on your gravestone, which is unmarked.
  6. 6. Imagine this hypothetical scenario: You’re hosting a game night in your living room when one of your friends begins to eye your mantel. He eventually turns to you, indicating the collection of porcelain doves, and asks, “What the fuck are those? Was the store all out of porcelain vomit?” How would you respond to your friend?
  7. 7.
    Now this dove is beautiful.
  8. 8. The previous remark was sarcastic. That dove is the worst of them all.
  9. 9. Let’s imagine one more hypothetical. You bring your porcelain birds to a special dove collector’s conference in Phoenix, AZ. Collectors from all over the world stop by your booth, and their feedback is less than favorable. Here are just a few quotes from your fellow collectors: “If doves are such a symbol of peace, how come looking at your booth makes me want to fucking kill myself? I heard Israel and Palestine were ready to settle on a two-state solution until they saw one of these heinous doves”; “I’ve spent my whole life appraising porcelain doves, and these make me want to kill myself”; and “I’d stick my whole arm down a garbage disposal and flip the switch on high, if I could hold one of your doves in my hand while I was doing it.” How would you respond?
  • Results for Are You Secure Enough To Handle A Few Digs About Your Porcelain Dove Collection?

    You Are Secure Enough To Handle A Few Digs About Your Doves!

    Congratulations! You’ve got the confidence to handle even the nastiest insults someone might throw your dove collection’s way. Porcelain doves may not be for everyone, but you’ve held strong in your convictions that this is the hobby for you. And if someone ever tries to take your doves down a peg, you’ll be sure to let it roll off your back.
  • Results for Are You Secure Enough To Handle A Few Digs About Your Porcelain Dove Collection?

    You Might Be Too Insecure To Handle Any Digs About Your Doves.

    Hmm. You certainly held your own for some of those digs, but your pain was pretty apparent. Try to stay focused on what you love about porcelain dove collecting, and leave the rest behind. At the end of the day, you have no one to answer to but yourself. Haters gonna hate!
  • Results for Are You Secure Enough To Handle A Few Digs About Your Porcelain Dove Collection?

    You Are Way Too Insecure To Handle Any Digs About Your Doves.

    You need to develop better coping mechanisms for when somebody insults your porcelain doves. Dove collecting should be its own reward, so stop trying to seek validation from others. You cannot control what people say about your hobby, but you can control your response to them. Learn to find your strength from within.
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM CLICKHOLE


I am 18 or over and willing to view sexually explicit material