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When I Was In School, Boys Used The Boys’ Bathroom, Girls Used The Girls’ Bathroom, The Principal Used My Lunchbox, The Janitor Used My Lunchbox, And Teachers Used My Lunchbox

Liberals these days can’t accept simple biology. Never mind things like anatomy and genetics, they say. If a boy says he’s a girl, we’re all supposed to accept his fantasy and let him use the girls’ bathroom at school. Well, back when I was a high school student, we didn’t accept this kind of delusion. Boys used the boys’ bathroom, girls used the girls’ bathroom, the principal used my lunchbox, the janitor used my lunchbox, and all the teachers used my lunchbox.

That’s just common sense, but try explaining it to Democrats.

Things were simple before all this transgender nonsense. We didn’t allow boys into the girls’ bathroom, and when the principal had to relieve himself, he’d scream, “It’s time,” and I’d lay my tin Thundercats lunchbox down on the floor for him to squat over. He’d grunt and moan for a few seconds until my lunchbox was filled to the brim with steaming-hot feces, and we all knew that slapping a dress on a man doesn’t magically transform him into a woman.

The physical reality is that men and women have different parts. A dude might wish he were born a woman—the same way that I wished teachers hadn’t lined up around the hall to defecate into my lunchbox one after another until it overflowed and spilled everywhere—but he’s still a man, and a wig and some lipstick won’t change that.

“Things were simple before all this transgender nonsense. We didn’t allow boys into the girls’ bathroom, and when the principal had to relieve himself, he’d scream, ’It’s time,’ and I’d lay my tin Thundercats lunchbox down on the floor for him to squat over.”

So how about you wrap your head around these simple scientific facts, liberals: If you have a penis, you’re a man; if you have a vagina, you’re a woman; and when I was in high school, I ate my lunch while waiting for the school bus in the morning because the bus driver would insist on shitting in my lunchbox before he’d take us to school. Not that complicated, right?

Even when school districts try to be nice and offer private bathrooms for these deluded boys to use, the intolerant left rejects any compromise. In that sense, they’re even worse than the daily procession of urinating janitors who used to crowd around my lunchbox wildly pissing and spraying diarrhea until I politely asked them to try avoiding hitting the handle because that’s the part I had to touch. Eventually, they obliged. I wish I could say the same for today’s transgender fanatics who insist they have to invade girls’ privacy to be “equal.”

Did I ever complain that my lunchbox was sloshing with excrement? No, because I knew that teachers are supposed to empty their bowels in my lunchbox, and then I was supposed to dump it all in my book bag to carry home and bury in my backyard. I didn’t try to make everyone change their habits just to suit my whims, the way the LGBT Gestapo wants women to be okay sharing a bathroom with a biological male.

What fantasy do they expect us to entertain next? If anyone can claim to be a woman, what’s to stop someone from claiming their lunchbox is a horse so teachers won’t crap in it? Ask yourself if that is the America you want to live in.


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