Workers’ Rights Win! This New Labor Law States That Any Cake Containing A Stripper Must Have A Functioning Restroom Inside It

While it often seems like our leaders on Capitol Hill are more interested in serving billionaires than everyday Americans these days, there’s no denying that they’ve just made a bold decision that’s a major win for workers’ rights: A new labor law passed by Congress states that any cake containing a stripper must have a functioning restroom inside it.

Right on! This will go a long way in guaranteeing exotic dancers a more equitable work environment!

The long overdue bill, which Congress passed this morning with overwhelming bipartisan support, will finally require all jumbo pop-out cakes to contain a spacious, well-maintained restroom inside of it that strippers can use while waiting to jump out and entertain clients. The bill, which calls for each cake’s restroom to have a minimum of two flushable toilets, including one handicap-accessible stall, a sink and hand dryer, is a major step forward for exotic dancers who until now have been unable to access restrooms until after they have burst out of the cake and finished their performance.

Of course, much more still needs to be done to ensure that all giant cakes provide adequate workplace amenities for strippers hiding inside of them. When so many modern workplaces are now offering on-site amenities like fitness centers and lactation rooms, we should be working to provide strippers these same benefits inside the big cakes where they spend so much of their workday.

Nevertheless, the lawmakers in Washington have set the wheels of progress in motion. From now on, exotic dancers will finally be able to focus fully on providing a titillating experience for their clients without having to worry about finding a restroom, and that’s great news!

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