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Watch A Bull Die Of Old Age, And 4 Other Plans For A Perfect Day In Madrid

There’s too much history and excitement in Madrid to experience everything the city has to offer in just one day, but if you’ve only got 24 hours in the capital of Spain, here are the five things you absolutely must do to enjoy the city as much as you possibly can.

1. Watch a bull die of old age: If you’re interested in Spanish tradition but also care about animal rights, local farmers will happily let you watch their bulls square off against the greatest matador of them all: time.

2. Take a stroll through Best Buy: One of the most popular tourist destinations in all of Madrid, this Best Buy first built in 2012 has to be seen to be believed. Make sure to check out the DVD section, which is famous for holding copies of Spider-Man 2.

3. Scream “¡Olé!” into a paper bag and then call the police: Don’t worry. You have not committed any crime—not even close. The members of the Madrid Police Department just like to look at bags with the word “¡Olé!” inside of them. They will point at the bag on the ground, and they will say, “That must be the bag with ‘¡Olé!’ inside of it. This is why I became a police officer.”

4. Conduct some unsanctioned espionage: The U.S. might currently enjoy friendly relations with Spain, but don’t let that stop you from coming home with a little bit of fresh Spanish intel. After spending some time trading state secrets with corrupt bureaucrats and filming military leaders having sex, you’ll possess enough covert knowledge about Madrid to bring the whole city to its knees!

5. Become known as “The Monster of Madrid”: Madrid is wide open for you to perform a series of terrible crimes that paralyzes the city’s residents with fear and causes them to refer to you in hushed tones as “The Monster of Madrid.” If you put in the effort, you’ll be glad that you took the time to commit unforgettably perverted deeds in this gorgeous city!


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